I’m not sure if people understand the extent to which raspberry truffles are significant in my life. In fact, it is safe to assume that am rendered useless to their powers; a big sucker to the truffles. My mother claims that my gravitation to them began before I could even speak!! Supposedly, we had a plumber over to repair the washing-machine; he saw me, waddling around in toddlerhood … and handed me a raspberry truffle from the inside of his pocket. And that was that.  I think I hide this dependence fairly well, but I would really like to exemplify its impact. 

Without further ado … here is my life on raspberry truffles (an abridged list):

• I love raspberry truffle flavored coffee. 
• I own a raspberry truffle themed bowling ball.
• I will typically run red-lights if raspberry truffles are involved.
• I once turned down a job offer as King of India because raspberries don’t grow in India. 
• I always blink in pictures because camera flashes taste like raspberry truffles when my eyes are closed.
• I fertilize my lawn with raspberry truffle wrappers in hope that the grass will flower … truffles. 
• I only go to gas stations that give you a free raspberry truffle with every $20 gasoline purchase.
• I have no mirrors in my house … only raspberry truffles. 
• I was once lured into a Taking Back Sunday concert by raspberry truffles on a long string. 
• I invented a pesticide and named it Raspberry Truffle … it kills aphids.
• I have a poster of Billy Ray Cyrus eating raspberry truffles in a field of corn. 
• I generally take vacations when raspberry-truffle-manufacturing-labor-unions go on strike. 
• I penned a novel in the style of Luis Borges where a man believes he is a raspberry truffle in reality … but he is stuck in the body of a movie-star most of the time.
• I bought a kitten and named it ‘Paul’ … but its nickname is ‘Raspberry Truffle.’